The way it was

Lately I've been missing my son so much. I see little boys - little being ten to twelve or so - who look the way my son used to: "cool," stylish clothes and long, brown hair. I miss how we were during that time of his life.

This week has been so intense. Parts are good: his father and I have communicated and are on the same page with what is best for our son for the first time in six months, maybe longer.

The way my son left home was heartbreaking for me. I had set up a contract for him, which he violated multiple times - including driving 91 miles per hour, getting a ticket for that which he did not tell me about, coming home at 4:00 a.m., leaving the house at 3:00 a.m., and hiding his car from me in a neighboring parking lot. There's more, but I'll spare you, except to say that that was not even the worst of it for me. The very worst involved two other aspects: 1) his lack of willingness to accept responsibility for any of it, and 2) his utter disrespect in the way he spoke to me directly.

I told him that I was moving to Austin. I decided to do this for a number if reasons, not the least of which was to take him out of his current environment. I told him he had to follow my rules in order to come with me. I told him that if he did not wish to do that, then he could live with his grandfather, my father, who had agreed to that. My son told me that he was neither going to move to Austin with me nor was he going to live with his grandfather. I told him that I did not approve and that he was basically on his own if he chose anything besides those two options. I thought he was planning to go to his father's, which I wasn't going ot fight any more than that. It was at that time that he begain to escalate and get angry, admonmishing my parenting. I told him that he needed to leave right away then. I said I would give him a ride somehwere but that he could not stay in my home and treat me that way. He insisted that I give him his car keys and the child support money. I refused. He found his car keys (in my room) and took his car. He got his father on the phone and gave his side of the story, and his father spoke to me saying, "So, you are just going to kick him out with no way to fend for himself?"

To be continued...